I always thought repeating the same patterns, thinking the same thoughts, and doing the same rituals was normal—until I found myself spiraling and battling perinatal depression.

As I began trying to understand what was happening within my mind, I eventually received an OCD diagnosis while also battling undiagnosed DPDR. Suddenly, the thoughts, patterns, and rituals I had always considered “normal” began to look very different through a new lens.

I realized just how much I had normalized, how long I had been living in cycles I didn’t fully understand, and how much I still had to learn about my own mind.

I never understood why someone repositioning or moving my things, last-minute plans, changes to my schedule, or disruptions to my routines could trigger such a strong response in me. I thought maybe I was selfish. Maybe I just liked things a certain way.

But what happens when the ways you have learned to cope no longer serve you?

What if healing came when God said He would make you rest—and He did just that? Because you have a Father who loves you so deeply that, even in your attempts to control what you cannot control, He knows when it’s time to make you stop, surrender, and rest in Him—in green pastures. He meets you right in the middle of it and says, “Come, let Me help you”?

“He makes me lie down in green pastures\. He leads me beside still waters\.”

—Psalm 23:2

The Battle in the Mind

There is a reason Scripture repeatedly addresses the mind.

God knew the battle we would face in our thoughts, and He gave us instruction for how to respond.

Paul tells us:

“We take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”

— 2 Corinthians 10:5

Taking a thought captive is not a one-time action. It is an ongoing process of surrender, discernment, and renewal.

Sometimes we reach a place where things begin to feel better. Maybe our minds are clearer. Maybe the anxiety has decreased. Maybe the attacks have stopped.

And then we can begin to think, I’m finally past this.

But God never intended His commands to be something we use temporarily and then put down.

Scripture tells us to remain alert because the enemy is described as one who prowls around seeking someone to devour. We are called to remain grounded, watchful, and equipped.

So when thoughts come, don’t be so quick to give them your attention.

Some thoughts are simply thoughts. You don’t have to analyze every one, determine what it means, or figure out where it came from.

When a thought does need to be addressed, bring it into submission to Christ.

Ask yourself: Does this thought align with what God says?

If it doesn’t, take it captive.

Your Thoughts Do Not Define You

One of the easiest things to do when struggling with intrusive or obsessive thoughts is to begin identifying yourself with them.

Maybe I am that.

Maybe this thought says something about who I really am.

Then comes rumination. We replay the thought, analyze it, question it, and try to find certainty.

The more we feed those loops, the more familiar they can become.

We have to recognize that many of the patterns we developed were created over time. Therefore, changing those patterns can also take time.

That doesn’t mean change is impossible.

It means we have to be patient with ourselves as we learn new ways of responding.

There is hope because the brain is capable of change. Through learning, repetition, new habits, and—most importantly for me—my relationship with God and the work of the Holy Spirit, I have come to understand that I don’t have to remain trapped in the same patterns forever.

OCD Is Not the Ending

OCD is not the ending of your story.

You can learn to stop feeding the cycle, but it takes practice. It takes intentionality. It takes learning not to repeat the ritual simply to relieve the anxiety in the moment.

It means being able to tell the monster:

“No. I will not self-soothe through this ritual. I will learn to sit with the discomfort and find my comfort in God.”

That doesn’t mean the discomfort immediately disappears.

Sometimes it doesn’t.

Sometimes you have to breathe through it.

Sometimes you have to sit with uncertainty.

Sometimes you have to remind yourself that you don’t need an answer right now.

And sometimes you simply need to say:

“Lord, help me.”

When the Thought Comes

Let’s say you receive a troubling thought.

Almost immediately, you feel an emotional or physical response in your body.

Your heart may race. Your stomach may tighten. You may feel restless, fearful, disconnected, or overwhelmed.

One thing you can do is pause.

Breathe.

Come back to the present moment.

Ground yourself.

Use your senses.

Notice what is around you. Feel your feet against the ground. Notice what you can see, hear, touch, smell, and taste.

The goal isn’t to force the thought away. It’s to help yourself recognize that you are here, in this moment, rather than becoming completely consumed by the thought.

Then remind yourself of what God says.

Read the Word

But in order to remind yourself of God’s Word, you have to know His Word.

Literally bury your face in Scripture.

Read it.

Study it.

Meditate on it.

Memorize it.

Not as another ritual you have to perform perfectly, but because you want Truth stored within you.

When the thought comes, you want to be able to remind yourself of what God has already said.

Ask the Holy Spirit to help you.

Pray continually.

And consider memorizing several Scriptures that speak directly to the areas you are struggling with.

For example:

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”

— 2 Timothy 1:7

But even here, we have to be mindful of how we use Scripture.

Don’t quote Scripture out of fear.

Don’t turn Scripture into another ritual where you feel like you have to repeat a verse over and over until you finally feel safe or certain.

If you do that, Scripture can unintentionally become part of the cycle you’re trying to break.

Instead, be still.

Allow the Holy Spirit to lead you.

Remind yourself of God’s Word.

Trust Him.

Sometimes it is necessary to simply say, “Lord, help me,” and then relax your grip on the need to figure everything out.

Be Patient With Yourself

I know this may be incredibly difficult for someone experiencing severe anxiety, intrusive thoughts, or DPDR.

But difficulty doesn’t mean you stop trying.

It won’t necessarily be easy at first.

Honestly, it can be extremely hard.

When your brain has become accustomed to responding a certain way, those old patterns may feel automatic. Learning a new response takes practice.

Start small.

Maybe it’s only a few seconds.

Maybe it’s a minute.

But start.

And please be patient with yourself.

I found myself counting the days, wondering when healing would finally come, and timing when God would take everything away.

But the more I focused on when it would end, the more I found myself spiraling.

I was trying to control the timeline of my healing.

Eventually, I had to learn to surrender that too.

You Are Not Losing Your Mind

If I could say one thing to someone struggling with obsessive thoughts, it would be this:

Give yourself grace. You are not losing your mind.

You may be stuck in a cycle that once brought you a sense of comfort or certainty, but now works against you.

And learning to respond differently takes time.

For me, part of healing has been learning that I don’t have to find ultimate comfort in controlling everything around me or obtaining certainty within myself.

I can turn to God.

I can surrender.

I can trust Him even when I don’t have all the answers.

So when the thought comes, remember what you have already learned:

Take it captive.

Breathe.

Ground yourself.

Remind yourself of what God says.

Pray.

Be still.

Keep going.

This is not a one-time thing. It is an ongoing process of surrender, renewal, and allowing God to transform our minds.

You Have a Helper

And remember: you have a Helper.

The Holy Spirit.

You have the Word of God.

You have the mind of Christ.

Your thoughts do not define you.

A thought can enter your mind without becoming your identity.

And through God’s power, we can continue learning, growing, and renewing our minds.

You don’t have to wait until tomorrow.

Today can be the day you decide to start again.

“But we have the mind of Christ.”

— 1 Corinthians 2:16

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”

— Romans 12:2

“We take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”

— 2 Corinthians 10:5

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”

— 2 Timothy 1:7

“And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper to be with you forever.”

— John 14:16

You are not alone in this battle.

You can begin again—today.

Come back for more as we continue discussing OCD and I share more from my personal experience.

A Note From Me

Please remember: I am not a mental-health professional. I am someone who loves learning about the brain, sharing my testimony, and being open about my own experiences with mental-health struggles.

My goal isn’t to tell you how to treat OCD, anxiety, DPDR, or any other mental-health condition. My hope is simply to share what I have learned, what has helped me personally, what Scripture has taught me, and how God has met me in the middle of my own battles.

If you are struggling, please don’t be afraid to reach out to a qualified mental-health professional or someone you trust for support.

There is no shame in getting help.

Healing can be a process.

Surrender can be a process.

Renewal can be a process.

And sometimes, faith looks like taking the next step even when you don’t know what the next ten steps will look like.

One thought at a time.

One pattern at a time.

One day at a time.

Begin again today.